The Syringe
by Meandor711
Summary: A new world and an escape from her past. She does not know what the future plans for her, but she has to keep going. A terrible past may lead to a bright future.
1. Chapter 1

The Syringe

Chapter one: Escape of a victim

Lights. That is all she could see. Bright lights hitting her from all directions as she was strapped onto a table. Her surroundings were blurry, and she could only here the muffled speech of people, people she did not know. Voices she did not recognize. She was alarmed, as any human would be, but the situation only seemed to get worse. She heard a sound of something that terrified her, a sound too familiar, the sound that wrecked her heart.

A syringe.

She tried to speak but her vocal chords would not assemble the words. She tried to scream but her mouth would not open. Her body trembled and she heard the voices let out huffs. They seemed displeased with her behaviour. '' Take your time, don't be afraid. '' She heard a feminine voice speak in her head. '' The door is still shut, there is still time. '' She began to tremble even more, she was afraid that these people would hurt her, as they had many times before. There was nothing stopping them and they knew it.

The syringe pierced her skin and her scream finally escaped her lips. Piercing was not a word that could describe it, it was a stab, a penetration or a slash would be more fitting. Slowly the syringe went further into her slim arm, and slowly she felt a liquid being forced into her body. The first stab was then joined by even more syringes poking and penetrating her skin. She screamed with all the might in her lungs but the syringes kept coming. She felt herself becoming light headed, and the stabs of new syringes became even more numb. Suddenly her vision was black, the lightness was all gone and she heard one voice speak to her. The word that was spoken she could not understand, but the voice had such compassion that it warmed her heart, it made a tear rool down her cheek. There was something familiar, there was something that felt right in the voice.

And then, she woke up.

She was in a car, driving faster than it should down a small road. She let out a breath of relief and she felt someone stroke the side of her hair. The palm was so tender to her that she felt as if it was the hand of god coming down from the heavens to comfort her. It was almost as if all the worries in the world had disappeared, just as fast as they had come.

'' Don't worry child. '' She heard her grandmother say, with a voice that contained wisdom. '' They will not hurt you ever again. I will make sure of it. ''

Here she was, in a car, with her grandparents. On her way to a new world, a new town and a new school. She would meet new people, make new friends and maybe even a few enemies. It was hard for her to swallow what had happened in her past, the betrayal she had felt. It was hard to swallow it and accept that the dark dream she had just dreamt, was more than a dream. It was her past.

Her name was Kairi, she was a teenager with auburn hair and indigo colored eyes. If you looked at her for a long time you could see that she also used to be so much more than before. Under her eyes were bags, her skin was pale and her lips were dried up and full of small wounds. Her arms had bandages that she covered with her long sleeved old sweatshirts and she had a pair of worn out jeans. You would think she was normal, but she was not

Her name was Kairi, Kairi Kobayashi. She wanted her past, to be a nightmare and nothing more.

An: Well this is a story that I want to work on to improve my grammar, sentence builds and characters more than anything else. Of course I do have an interest in the story, I would not write it if I did not have any whatsoever. The main reason is to improve. I would love if you would R&R, and comment on any error you see at all, even if it's a minor one. If you have some words that would be more fitting or in anyway different that once I chose I would also like to hear it and see if I could use it later. I will post the next chapter in a few days :)


	2. A day of sighs

An: I will try to write longer chapters than the first chapter, since it was more an introduction to the story of Kairi. As mentioned in the other chapter, any criticism will be accepted with open arms, I want to improve so do not be afraid to be picky! :)

Chapter two: A day of sighs

As Kairi stepped out of the door she felt the suns warm embrace wrapping her body in blankets of happiness and joy. Sadly, Kairi was unaffected by this gesture. The sun was too bright and she cursed to herself as it warmed her skin. She could not wait to get inside. Her grandmother smiled kindly at her while her grandfather started to unload the car. The auburn teen stared at her new home, which was right in front of her.

The small house was two floors tall, it was painted in a vanilla white color with a light nut colored door. In front of the door was a small porch which had a small roof covering the porch. On both sides of the entrance, there were small patches of grass that was overgrown. In all honesty Kairi did not mind it, but it did not appease her either. It would not matter as long as her room was above decent.

The teenager felt a hand on her shoulder and she felt her muscles tense. '' Doesn't this look great dear? '' She heard her grandmother say, while a smile was stretched over the elderly womans face. The voice soothed Kairi and her body began to relax. Her grandmother continued to speak in the warm tones that used to lull Kairi to sleep when she was younger '' Don't you think that this will be great dear? ''

Kairi was unsure about what to say, her grandmother had tried everything to make her happy after what had happened. Her grandmother was such a kind hearted person, filled with compassion and love for everyone around her and Kairi felt blessed to have her by her side. That is the exact reason why Kairi chose to lie to her '' It looks great. '' She simply said, trying to sound as happy as she could without blowing her cover.

A light hug came from behind and Kairi smiled, hugs from her grandmother always felt nice. It could brighten her mood no matter what. The familiar scents, the familiar cheeks and the familiar light grip her grandmother held around her made her happier than most people could understand. They had a bond, a bond that no one else shared anywhere else around the world. This was the bond that made Kairi try, that bond is the reason why she kept on living. God knows that it was hard, but she endured, she endured everyday hoping for the best.

'' I am so happy Kairi, you do not realize how happy that makes me. '' A whisper as light as snow was whispered into Kairis ear. She knew how happy it made her grandmother, she knew everything about her. They were best friend, the only friend Kairi had. The elderly woman broke the hug and Kairi heard her grandfather struggle inside the house.

'' Paps, do you need any help? '' Kairi asked. Her grandfather came out of the house with sweat dripping down his forehead.

'' No no no, just go and have some fun love. ''

Fun, what a simple word. People spoke it simple, and as if it was simply achieved. It also had many definitions. Kairi on the other hand did not have a definition of fun. She simply did not have a clue what to do to have ''fun''. Her grandmother gave her some munny and a hug.

'' Go explore dear, try to make friends. We will finish this. ''

Kairi nodded and smiled at both of her grandparents. Slowly she walked down the street, looking at the similar houses in all directions. It was dull, it was plain, it was simply boring. There were a few features that were made each house different than the other, but not one houses stuck out. It was as if they were afraid to be themselves in a crowd. Sighing she kept on walking. Destiny island, this so called paradise on earth, it seemed dull. Kairi did not swim, she was afraid to drown so any activity revolving around water was out of the question. Water based entertainment seem to be the only option she had. This was every kids dream and yet she did not find it interesting at all.

As she was at the end of the street she found a small grocery store. She knew what she wanted, and from past experiences, person behind the counter would not ask. A breath of cool air hit her as she entered the small store, then she strolled of in a random direction, ignoring the hello coming from the boy sitting behind the counter. The shelves in the store were unorganized to say the least. Where canned foods were supposed to stand, there was powdered coconut milk. This was just one of few wrongs on the shelves. Although she did not really care, it seemed lazy to make such mistakes all over the store.

It did not take long until Kairi found what she was looking for, alcohol. Forty percent alchol mixed with another flavor was the best thing created by man. It made her stop thinking, it made her nightmares go away, it gave her relief. She took a large bottle and made her way to the cashier. It was a blond boy with a kind smile. He had spiky hair and aqua blue eyes. The attire he was wearing seemed to be a custom made red shirt from the shop and black pants. The shirt also had a name pin on it, and Kairi could make out a quickly scrambled Roxas on the small piece of paper.

'' Hello miss '' He said kindly offering a gentle smile. Kairi simply gave him the bottle and no other response. '' I have never seen you before, are you new? '' Stupid question from a boy that seemed to be stupid. Kairi did not respond and she could she that the boy in front of her had not encountered such behavior before. His mouth became a thin line as he muttered the price for her sweet relief and she gave him the right amount and left with the bottle in a small plastic bag.

'' Have a nice day and please come again. '' Sarcasm was not standard routine for the cashiers Kairi hoped, it was unnecessary in every occasion.

The auburn teen kept on walking in a random direction and she watched people. She wanted to know how people acted in this world before she began school tomorrow. Kairi passed many groups of teenagers on her way. The most notable group consisted of girls. They giggled, chatted and talked gossip for what seemed like forever. She groaned as she listened to the small group. This would indeed be a hard place to live, in her eyes these kind of people were the worst to be around. They were weird, hard to talk to and all around a pain in the ass.

The small town was nice enough, there were a few small shops scattered around and some cafes too. Destiny island was known for its great beaches and it was indeed beautiful. The white sand made the water seem even bluer. It was as if you were looking into the clear sky, only that you could bath and revel in it. Sadly, Kairi did not feel like doing one or the other. After walking for hours she went home, knowing that her grandparents would be in bed. They cared, but they could not stay awake forever, they were too old for that. On her way home she saw a person sitting in an alleyway with a syringe in his arm. She felt her arms burn and she ran as fast as she could. The piercing feeling came back and she felt tears coming to her face. Memories of the past she wanted to forget, always found a way to attack her, no matter what.

After entering the room she kicked off her shoes, closed the door and laid on the bed her grandmother had made up for her. The room was simple enough. Wooden colored walls, a small wardrobe and some shelves. There were also pictures of her grandma and herself on the walls. Only her grandparents and herself. No one else. Sighing she took out the drink and slowly began to sip on it. Trying to numb the pains she felt in her arms, hulking as her tears kept on streaming.

Kairi missed her old life, the life in Radiant garden. A planet that made her happy. The people were okay, they were friendly and she had a few friends herself, before it happened. Before she could dwell on the thought even more she began to drink even more quickly, chugging half the bottle in less than half a minute. She was blessed with an inability to puke, so her grandparents would know nothing, after she sprayed some perfume all over the room. She looked out of the window on her right and stared at the stars. They twinkled and it bothered her. They radiated light of happiness and would make most people happy. She was one of the few unlucky who was unaffected by this. Just like the sun, the stars reminded her of a time when everything was better. When everything felt right.

Sighing once more she found her headset and plugged it into her phone. Starting her favorite song as she whispered the lyrics into the darkness of her room.

_They say it's over and I'm fine again, yeah  
Try to stay sober, feels like I'm dying here_

She let out a hick and continued to sing with the song. Ignoring the stings in her heart, ignoring the voices in her head. All she wanted was solitude and silence. Was that too much to ask from this godforsaken existence?

_And I am aware now  
Of how everthings gonna be fine  
One day, too late, I'm in hell  
I am prepared now  
Seems everyone's gonna be fine  
one day to late, just as well_

A smiled slowly made an appearance on her face. This gave her comfort. Sitting alone, intoxicated and singing in whispers into the darkness. The darkness listened, the darkness cared, the darkness was always there. Darkness was her real friend, it even granted her the greatest release of all. A dreamless rest.

_Early morning_

Kairi woke up with the worst hangover of her life. Her head was spinning and the singing of the birds sounded like a hundred crows trying to wake up the whole island. A perfect way to start the first day of school. After dragging herself out of bed she got dressed, she wore a big black sweater and a black beanie. Under her sweater she wore her bandages and a t-shirt with some faded writing. Last but not least she wore a dark pair of jeans. She did not want anyone to talk to her, that is why she chose this outfit. People dressed in dark usually scared people, they associated the absence of light with nightmares, bad memories and monsters. This is the reason why Kairi like these clothes, it made people stay away. After grabbing a perfume bottle she started to spray herself and her room.

When she was done, she walked into the hallway outside her room and took a deep breath, pancakes for breakfast. Suddenly she felt her belly rumble. It was rumbling so loudly that it made Kairis head hurt. This would be a long day indeed. As she made her way down the stairs she heard whistling, as much as she wanted to stop the screeching sound, she had to play it cool. She had to act as if nothing was out of place, as if everything was fine.

'' Hello there dear '' Her grandmother said in a singsong voice.

'' Good mornin' '' she replied as her grandmother gave her a plate with seven pancakes. Her grandmother wanted her to eat lots of food, because her body weight was below normal, it was close to an unhealthy state. If you looked at her bare belly you could see her ribs, in great detail.

Kairi slowly ate her breakfast, knowing it would be the only enjoyable moment of her day. As her fork scraped against her plate, she had to use her best poker face to seem as good 'ol Kairi, while the screeching sound battered her ears like battering rams. There was not much talk while she ate breakfast. Her grandmother was humming to a song on the radio while her grandfather read the newspaper. No matter what happened today she would lie to them, and as much as that hurt her, she knew it was for the best. Their ignorance was a bliss they would enjoy, whether they wanted to or not.

'' Want me to drive you to school? '' Her grandfather asked with a grin on his face. They always smiled, no matter how shit everything was, it almost scared her at times.

'' That would be nice. '' She muttered and made a fake yawn. She finished her breakfast and grabed her backpack. As they both sat into the car. The slow drive towards her new hellhole started.

'' Are you excited Kai? '' He asked, genuinely interested.

'' Of course I am. Wouldn't you be paps? ''

He let out a small laugh and answered in a thoughtful manner '' I do not know, if I was in your shoes I would be terrified. Not to discourage you, but I am quite a woos. ''

A woos indeed, when there was a rat or a spider, either Kairi or her grandmother had to deal with the minor issue. While he was not such a masculine man, he was indeed a kind one. He would always help them out, if it did not contain spiders, animals or bugs.  
'' What is there to be afraid off? It's only teenagers. '' Kairis voice sounded more dull than she had intended.

'' Teenagers are unpredictable creatures though. ''

Kairi faked a giggle '' True paps, true. ''

The rest of the car ride was in complete silence. They listened to the radio as Kairi tried to ignore the battering rams as they violated her head. This had to be one of her worst hangovers indeed. She looked out the window and tried to relax, but when she looked outside she was not too impressed. Her grandmother had shown her great posters about how beautiful the island was. The beaches were as beautiful as they were on the posters and pictures, but everything else was not even close. The palm trees did not have an emerald green color, nor was the city as enormous as the islanders wanted it to seem. Liars dwell everywhere in society.

'' Well, here we are. '' She looked at the school complex. It was a three floor building which covered a great area. The stone walls were painted in a white color. There was nothing notable about the building, it was plain, boring, dull. It looked as if it was pulled out of any cheap teenage drama film.

'' _A dramatically stupid building with dramatically stupid people_ '' Kairi thought as she took a step outside the car and turned towards her grandfather. '' I will take the bus home paps. ''

He nodded gave Kairi a thumbs up and a '' have a great day! '' Then he drove off. Leaving her alone. She sighed as she saw the car disappear, then she turned towards the school complex and sighed once more. This would be more boring than she imagined. The school yard was empty for the time being so it was easy for her to make her way to the entrance. As she opened the door a wave of chatter hit her like a cold wave, causing her head to screech.

'' lovely '' She muttered bitterly as she started to make her way towards the office. She had to push herself through the flock of parrots to even get anywhere, they were just standing in the middle of the hall talking about '' dat hawt guuyyyy '' or '' Dat sexeh chicks ass '', Simple high school chatter that would kill any political carrier if said out loud to the wrong person.

She finally got to the office and sighed. She seemed to do that a lot today. Before she knocked on the door it opened, revealing a woman with short black hair in front of her. '' You must be Kairi right? ''

Kairi nodded and the black haired woman gave her different papers. '' This is all you need, we are quite busy today sorry I got to run! '' And then she sprinted down the hall.

'' …. I'm gonna kill myself soon '' the dark dressed teenager muttered and looked at the sheets of papers that the weird woman handed to her. There was a map of the school, with marked locations of her classrooms, her schedule and her locker combination. Slowly but surely she made her way to the locker which was assigned to her. The location was marked on the map so it was not hard to find. She opened the locker and found it full off books. For what seemed like the millionth time today, she sighed and grabbed the books she needed for her first class, English.

After minutes of pushing herself trought the crowded hallways, she finally made it to her classroom. She opened the door and took a quick sweep of the area with her classroom was empty except the teacher who was sitting at his, or hers desk. The person was holding a book with one hand and read it with great interest. The seats were placed into two and two, and there were a few theatrical posters on the walls. The teacher noticed Kairi and closed his book and looked at her. '' You must be the new student, am I right? '' the voice seemed masculine, so she would gamble on it.

After a quick nod for the teen, the man nodded and gave a small smile '' I am Zexion, nice to meet you Miss Kobayashi. ''

'' Likewise sir. '' She quickly reply.

'' I hope you will become and assed to this class, I have enough of less…. talented individuals in this class as it already is. '' His voice seemed to harden slightly, but softened quickly '' I will spare you the embarrassing tradition of presenting yourself to the class. Take a seat miss Kobayashi. ''

The teacher went back to his book and Kairi began to walk towards the chair in the far right corner of the room. She opened the English book and studied it, every topic was either too boring or too easy for her to make her even genuinely interested. English was not her favorite subject, but one of her best. It would be easy for her to get an A.

Slowly, the plain classroom became filled with students. Luckily for Kairi, no one sat beside her and that made her smile a small smile to herself. '' One good thing happened today I guess. '' She whispered and looked towards the blackboard. Zexion closed his book and was about speak as one student came bursting through the door.

'' You came just in time. '' The teacher said plainly looking at the boy with brown spikes on his side '' Please take a seat. ''

Kairi looked around and thought to herself '' _Fucking shit. _'' The only seat was the one next to her. This was indeed a bad high school drama. The boy made his way towards the seat next to her and she inspected him quickly. He was wearing blue jeans with a white t-shirt, his eyes were blue and he had spiky hair. The most interesting thing about this boy was the necklace around his neck. It was a cross.

The auburn female groaned, she would have a bible freak next to her, just great. He sat down next to her and smiled warmly at her. Zexion began to talk about the works of Shakespeare and wrote down important dates and works on the blackboard. Kairi did not bother to take notes, as this was something she had already studied in Radiant gardens.

'' You are new here aren't you? '' She heard a whisper coming from her right.

Before she spoke she thought to herself '' _Why do people around here point out the obvious?_ '' and then she addressed this person. '' Yes''

'' Always nice to see a new face '' he gave her another warm smile and she felt her stomach turn, what was this guys problem? Why was he so happy.

'' Whats your name? '' He asked.

'' Kairi. '' she said, hoping he would stop talking to her, sadly he did not.

'' My name is Sora. ''

Sadly, Kairi had to be nice and reply '' Nice to meet you Sora. ''

Another smile came from the boy and Kairi cringed '' Nice to meet you too Kairi. ''

'' _This will be a long day_ '' She thought as she sighed once more.

An: I will try to make my chapters around 3000+ words, maybe even longer we will see :D I do not own any of the song lyrics, they are taken from a song called: Fine Again, by Seether. While I am at it I can state the obvious and say that I do not own any of the characters in this story :) Please R&R, tell me what I can improve, that would make my day :)


	3. Friends?

Chapter 3: Friends?

High school, the dream of every child. They had been feed lies all their lives about how beautiful and wonderful high school was. How it would be the peak of their youth. Everything was beautiful, all the girls had become beautiful and happy, giggling at the boys and having slumber parties every night. The guys had become buff and strong, they were great in sports and all the girls wanted to be around them. It was the dream for both of the genders, most of them anyway.

What they did not know was that they had all been fed lies. This dream was nothing more than an idea that had been forced upon them, an illusjon that was conjured to lure them in, only to be shattered into a thousand pieces to then be shit upon. High school was nothing else than a complete nightmare. High school was hells manifestation on earth, and all the ideas of a youth filled with happiness, joy and parties, were all lures for them to swallow, to then be dragged in. The cheerleaders and the jocks were all demons that made life a living hell for these mere humans.

At least that is how Kairi viewed the whole idea of high school. She was disappointed by what she had seen so far, both in Radiant garden and on Destiny Island. Even before the incident, she had not been a part of the most popular teens. That is how she got to see what happened, and what most of the school officials and the preps themselves overlooked. This perspective made her thoughts, hopes and dream about high school go down the drain. There were moments she loved being in school, but there were moments where she also hated it with all her being. It was not the idea of school that made school bad for her, it was the people that were there that created this image she had. The image of evil and abuse, bullies tormenting the weaker, girls losing their self-esteem because of idiotic ideals of the close minded idiots.

As English slowly progressed she looked at someone on her side that was no close to anything she have ever witnessed before. This kid, Sora, was smiling as if nothing was wrong in the world. There was something that had to be wrong with him, no one could be this happy. He was humming lightly as he took notes of the blackboard in front. The smile on his face never wavered, nor did it ever falter. It bothered her.

She distracted herself and tried to pay more attention to class. As Zexion how Shakespeare got the idea of his most know piece, Romeo and Juliet. As he continued to explain you could easily see, even from all the way back, that some of the teens had no clue of what the teacher was talking about.

'' How could one poem inspire a whole play? '' A girl asked from the middle row. You could see that Zexion was annoyed by the question, but he was able to keep a passive posture. After the question was asked he had to go into detail about how people became inspired and how inspiration could spring into great works. Questions bombarded the teacher about small facts about inspiration that Kairi groaned silently to herself.'

'' How can people be so stupid? '' She muttered to herself, without knowing that the brunette next to her had hear what she said.

'' Don't worry, this is the worst you will see. There are many…. Less intelligent beings in this school, but what you're hearing now is the worst. '' he said and doodled on the side of his paper.

Kairi raised an eyebrow and looked at the kid next to her '' It's not nice to eavesdrop you know. ''

Sora smiled '' It's not nice to talk badly of people you don't know either. ''

The girl made a grimace '' You weren't exactly nice yourself. '' She snapped, trying to keep her voice as low as possible.

The smile never left his lips '' At least I know them. ''

Kairi gave him a glare and fished her phone out of her pocket. She opened a game and started gaming, as Sora went back to paying attention to the lecture.

'' _He just had to be a smartass. _'' She bitterly thought as her head slowly got better, there were not too many screeching noises. Time moved as if there was no gravity in the classroom and Kairi felt herself begin even more bored with every second ticking by. Zexions voice was dull in her opinion, it was tiring and she felt herself almost dosing of on more than one occasion.

After an eternity Sora poked her forehead and she gave him a bored look '' What? '' She asked.

'' Can I see your schedule? '' The stupid smile on his face was still plastered on his face.

She handed it to him and he started to study it slowly. He then gave it back to her and smiled warmly at her '' Seems that you're stuck with me, we have three classes together. '' She looked at the schedule and he had marked the classes with small underlining's with his penis.

'' Fun '' She faked a smiled, however he did not seem impressed. The classes she would have to attend with this brunette were English, Math and drama. It would indeed be a long school year for Kairi, she already did not like this kid and she had three of seven classes with him, every day. She returned to her game and tried to beat her high score while time slowly ticked away. When the class finished, every teenager in the room suddenly made a run for it. Causing many noises that brutalized Kairis head. She groaned in pain, when everyone ran out in desperation, they created sounds of terror, sounds of pain.

'' _If this continues I will get brain hemorrhage. '' _Kairi bitterly though as she slowly packed up her own things. Sora had walked out after everyone had ran out, and now it was only the teacher and herself in the room.

As she made her way out, he stopped her '' Miss Kobayashi, please do not spend time on your phone in class, I let it slide since it's your first day here, but the next time there will be punishment. '' his voice was steady, but harsh, he had indeed made his point simple. The teacher went back to reading his book and Kairi got out of the room of boredom. When she got outside she found the hall deserted, rather it felt that way because there were not half as many teens in these halls as there were earlier this morning.

Her locker was not far away, and it did not take long for her get there and grab the stuff for her next class. Art was a simple class, at least for her. In her solitude she had drawn, it was one of her escapes from reality during between the syringes in her past. She got out her pain, her grief, all the feelings that made her feel hollow. Hopefully they would pass, hopefully they would become a piece of her past, along with the nightmares. The road to that goal was long and dangerous, she did not know if she would ever see the end, but she would try none the less, what else would she do in this cold hard existence?

She made her way towards art class and entered the room, being hit by what seemed to be a wall of sound that hit ever limb and every muscle in her body. A snarl escaped her lips, but she closed it quickly. She thought she had come to control that part. She looked for an empty seat that was alone, even for all her effort she could not find one, the only available spot was right next to a platinum haired girl in a short white dress. The girl was drawing in a notebook, by the looks of it, she knew what she was doing. She applied different amount of pressure onto the pencil and used short strokes before she took one long and then a stronger line where she wanted the shape to be. She seemed friendly, and that was the reason Kairi walked over to her.

'' Hello, can I sit here? '' Kairi gave the petty girl a smile and the girl looked at her with unsure aqua blue eyes.

'' S… sure '' She said, quietly, as if she was afraid.

Kairi sat down and smiled at the girl on her right. '' What's your name? ''

'' N….Na…mine. Y…. yours? '' her voice was light, it was soft, but at the same time squeaky. The girl was nervous, and it was proof that Kairis outfit had made the impact she wanted it to make, although right now, she regretted it. This girl seemed nice, she would at least need acquaintances in school. As much as she hated to admit it, she had to have one or two people to talk to. This girl seemed nice, now it was time to get to know her, ever how slightly.

'' My name is Kairi. What are you drawing there? '' Kairi motioned towards the girls notebook and the girl covered it.

'' N… nothing….. '' She muttered.

Kairi stopped talking to the girl, The girl seemed too afraid to talk at the moment. Kairi got up and found a paper in the front of the class. She could feel the stares brun her back when she walked to the front of the class, and when she started to walk back to her seat, the stares still burned her. They stared at her as if she was a tree in the desert, a lonely flower the top of a mountain. It bothered her, she hated being the center of attention.

When Kairi sat down, Namine had started on a new drawing. The blond girl seemed less tense than before. Kairi put the new found papers and pencils on the desk and tried to get a glimpse of the picture the girl drew, however it was to no avail. The girl saw what Kairi tried to do and covered her drawing.

'' Sorry. '' Kairi said and smiled '' I did not mean to bother you. ''

The girl looked at Kairi but smiled back, still tense. '' It's…. fine. '' she whispered '' I… I have to… show it to you… no matter what. ''

Namine showed the picture to Kairi and she was blown away. IT was a drawing of her face with her beanie on her head. Everything on the picture was perfect, the shading on the left side of her face, how the beanie sat on the top of her head, everything was perfect. Namine had even captured the small pimple on Kairis left chin. This girl was talented, more talented than Kairi for sure.

'' Wow, I am blown away. This is perfect. '' Kairi was indeed in awe over the magnificent drawing infront of her.

'' T.. thanks, it's not that great really. '' Namine blushed and looked away.

'' Are you joking? That is perfect, don't be so modest Namine! '' The girl got less tense by the second. Kairi had finally gotten the reaction she wanted.

'' Thanks. '' Namine looked back as Kairi now started to scratch her pimple.

'' I need to pop this soon. '' The redhead muttered.

Namine giggled '' Sorry. ''

'' Don't worry about it. '' 'The teacher walked in as Kairi had finished her sentence. The teacher was female this time, with brown hair that was flowing down her back. She was tall woman and the high heels on her feet made her seem even taller.

'' Okay class. '' The woman said with a voice that was filled with compassion and care. '' Today is a very special class, and one of the most important once we will have this year, now everyone grab your pencils and let's get…. '' She stopped mid-sentence when she saw Kairi in the back of the room, a warm smile spread on her face '' OH I had completely forgot, we have a new student! Miss Kobayashi, can you please stand up so we can get a good look at you. ''

Kairi did as she was told and looked at the class, she muttered a quite quiet hello. She felt the stares return and after what seemed like a short eternity the teacher continued '' She is from radiant garden and moved to the island yesterday. I hope you will enjoy this class Miss Kobayashi. '' Kairi sat down and the teacher, named Aerith, started her lecture about perspective and shadowing. After a short while, all the looks returned to their previous locations, away from her.

'' God the worst about being the new kid is the stares. '' Kairi whispered to Namine, and the blond girl nodded.

'' Yeah, I know the feeling. '' The girl sighed and looked at Kairi '' IT sucks. ''

This girl had just passed the test, she would become an acquaintance. It was hard to believe, but Kairi did not mind this girl, at least for the time being. The teacher gave them an assignment, it was simple enough. They were supposed to draw a rusty bucket with some flowers in it. The flowers were mostly roses, but there were all sorts of flowers in there, daffodils, tulips and many more.

'' This assignment will be delivered by the end of the class. Ready, set, go. '' Suddenly the room was filled with scratching sounds from everywhere, even the girl on her side had started to brutalize the sheet in front of her to be able to finish quickly. That was not how Kairi did it on the other hand, she took her time, studied and made it as close to perfect as she could. She started by drawing the bucket in great detail, making sure that the rust looked as realistic as it could without any color. She then drew the shape that all the flowers created, before she started to draw every single flower individually. She did not add to much now, she only wanted the picture to look like the motive in front of her, later she would add more of her own personal touch her assignments. Not today in the other hand.

Aerith walked around the class to look at the drawings, she seemed impressed by some of them, but almost disgusted by others. She kept her posture and encouraged them to work more with their drawing, instead of blowing them off. It did not take long until she came over to Kairi and seemed impressed, but not blown away.

'' You missed some of the shading over there love. '' She pointed at the base of the bucket. Kairi cursed in her mind, how could she have forgotten the most basic place to shadow?

'' You did great though, keep up the good work. '' Then she looked over at Namines work.

'' Perfect as always Namine. '' Then she walked away. It really did not seem as if she cared too much about any of their drawings.

'' Is she always like this? '' Kairi asked the blond girl next to her.

'' Yeah, she focuses more on the less talented pupils. What she said to you was the best compliment she could have given you. '' Namine was not tense at all, this was not the same girl as Kairi had talked to before class. This girl seemed relaxed, not tense and insecure.

The bell rang and every pupil placed their drawing at the teacher's desk, hoping that they would never see their drawings again. Kairi and Namine were the last to deliver their drawings to the teacher. They walked out of the art room and Naimine turned to Kairi '' D….. do you…want to eat lun…lunch with me and my friends? '' And back was the girl she had meet before the class.

'' That would be lovely. '' Kairi smiled at the girl once more. She almost felt bad that she was faking her smile. Almost. Namine smiled and started to walk off in the direction of her locker, leaving Kairi all alone. The newcomer sighed, now it was time for math, Another class with Sora. She did not look forward to him, he would soon preach about his religion.

As Kairi walked out of math she was exhausted. It had been a long class. Luckily she did not sit next to Sora this time, he was in the front of class, while she was in the back. The math teacher was boring, the class was boring, the people in there were boring. Everything about that class was boring. At least she had lunch now. Hopefully she would find Namine quickly, so she did not have to wander around looking for her new acquaintance. When she walked into the cafeteria, there was a vast amount of students chatting, laughing and eating. Luckily her hangover had become less painful by now. It did not take long until Kairi found Namine. The girl waved at Kairi and she waved back, before making her way over to the table. There were to other people sitting there, the boy she had meet at the grocery store yesterday and a short black haired girl.

'' Hello Kairi. '' Namine said happily. Roxas looked at her skeptically and the raven haired girl smiled at her.

'' Hello Namine, and you two. ''

The black girl extended her hand '' I'm Xion. Nice to meet you Kairi. ''

Kairi shook Xions hand '' Likewise. '' Then she looked at Roxas '' And I have already met you. '' she smiled at him.

'' Yeah, you were really mad though. '' Kairi laughed as Roxas said this, she was indeed mad, but not even close to real mad. '' Sorry, was a long trip and I just arrived yesterday. ''

Kairi sat down and smiled at Namine, who smiled back. A silence fell upon the small group, like a blanket wrapping them all in. Roxas still looked unsure at Kairi, Xion started eating a sandwich and Namine was drawing.

'' Gawd that Zexion dude is boriiiinnnngggg. '' Suddenly a guy sat between Roxas and Namine He had spiky red hair, he wore a black trench coat and had green eyes with tear drop tattoos under each of his eyes. '' I swear he has a stick up his ass or something. ''

His eyes drifted over to Kairi and he raised an eyebrow '' I've never seen you here before. ''

'' I'm new. '' Kairi said and gave a small smile to the newcomer.

'' I'm Axel, got it memorized? '' He sounded skeptical, but not hostile.

For the first time in months, she had a normal conversation with what seemed like normal people, excluding Axel. They laughed, they smiled and enjoyed each other's company and it was not hard for Kairi to participate in their talks. It was nice to exchange words with these strangers. Namine was silent, while the other three talked, that's how it mostly was. Kairi mostly talked to Namine and looked at Roxas when he was not paying attention. She would have to buy alcohol at another shop now, and that could become a bother for her later. Lunch quickly passed by, and soon she found herself walking with Namine down the hall to another class which they shared. It was drama.

As they chatted something slipped out of Namines mouth that surprised Kairi, a word that had not referred to her in ages. The word was Friend. The exact quote was '' It's always nice to make a new friend. '' After such a short period of time, how could Namine call Kairi her friend? That was unknown to the redheaded girl, but somewhere in her heart, she liked the sound of it.

An: This took longer than imagined, my computer died and I had forgot to save the document so I had to rewrite 2/3s of this chapter. I do not mean to offend anyone by making Sora religious, nor by Kairis thoughts towards Sora in the beginning, many people preach about their faith and it can be bothersome, even for other religious people. So I do not mean to offend anyone at all :)  
Was really nice to get my first favorite and follow on this story, and I would love to thank the person who reviewed on the second chapter, those three events made my day :)

Please R&R, tell me what I could improve on, if you think this story suck, why do you think it does. Anything Is welcome, I just want to improve as a writer :)


	4. Memories

Chapter four: Memories

Memories are special. Memories are what make us who we are. Good and bad memories work together to create the content of our character, however memories are not replicas of the moments that happened. Our memories are what we create them to be, we shape and form them to make the memories fit our side of a story. We alter our memories, sometimes without knowing, to make ourselves seem more truthful and honest. Our memories are chains that we structure ourselves, breaking pieces and shaping them before we put them back.

Therefore, a memory of which we have in our heads could either be worse, or better than what we remember. You could call it a sort of defense mechanism to defend our minds from a dreadful events that occurred in our lives. At the same time, you could call it a support mechanism, to make the good memories seem even better. In that way we will most likely be happier than what we really are, and a moment in our past may seem better than it was.

No matter what it was, it frightened Kairi. She wanted to remember exactly what happened in her past, not an alteration forced upon her by her mind subcopiously. Were there as many syringes as she remembers? Were there more, or less? Did they stab her as roughly as her dreams told her? Were they indeed devils who walked the earth, or just bewildered humans, unknowing of what they did to her, the damages they caused her. All of these questions puzzled her as she continued to search for the real memories. She wanted to know the truth, she deserved to know the truth.

These were the thoughts that flew in her head as she walked towards her new home. She had told her grandfather not to pick her up, she told him she would walk with some friends, but the real reason was that she did not want to be a bother. The redheaded teen slowly strolled the empty sidewalk and hummed on a song which had stuck itself on her mind like a fly in a web. It was nice to walk alone, she had been with Namine all day. Even if Namine was nice, it was still new to Kairi to talk to someone whom viewed her as a friend. Kairi still called her acquaintance, however she never said this word to her out loud.

However, she was not surrounded by solitude for long. She had made her way to the center of the island, where people worked, shopped and socialized. It almost looked like the center of a small city, with cars always driving, people always walking and ignoring one another. The buldings weren't tall, nor were they small. Different shops, cafés and so on. Kairi wanted to relax, enjoy what you could call '' The city life. '' after the small town of radiant garden, she had become tired of the quite life in near solitude. Even though she did not want to socialize herself, she did not mind seeing or hearing other people socialize. There were reasons why she wanted to experience the ''city life''.

First of all, she wanted to see how the islanders interacted with one another. In reality, the culture was different in Radiant Garden, and she did not want to be a step behind everyone else culturally. Therefore she would look at similarities when it came to greetings, eating and so on. Secondly, she would more easily understand the high schoolers if she understood people in the Island. An example that fits here is Axel. In Radiant Garden it was not usual with Tattoos, however, it may be different on the Island. Small things like these would make things simpler for Kairi, these small things makes the differences in different cultures and societies. What was accepted, and what was not. Third, she generally wanted to listen to their soothing accents. When they spoke it sounded light and soft, not like the harsh pronunciation of the Radiant garden inhabitants.

She found a small café with one double table on the outside and ordered a cup of hot chocolate. She would never do this again, seen the weird look she got from the waitress. '' Hot chocolate on a hot summer paradise. '' Kairi muttered to herself '' Even I should have known that was not normal. '' Sighing she started to look into the crowd of people, she almost envied them for being so normal. That is all she wanted to be, indeed she wanted people to stay away from her, but there are normal anti-social people for sure. At least more normal than what she viewed herself as. The waitress came with her drink and Kairi started to sip on it slowly.

'' Well well well, what do we got here? ' ' a young man said as he moved towards Kairi. He wore a blue crop-top vest and a floor length white jacket. A pair of baggy pants was tucked into some combat boots and he had a black beanie covering almost all of his hair. His eyes were blue-green and he had a scar on his face. The man sat down on a chair on the other side of the small table where Kairi was seated. '' A hot babe, with a hot drink on a hot island. This has to be my lucky day. '' A cocky grin slowly developed on his face as he studied her from head to toe '' What is a pretty lady like yourself doing here all alone? ''

Kairi was calm and answered in a voice that was colder than she had expected it herself '' I'm waiting for someone. '' then she took another sip of her drink.

The young mans grin just grew '' Oh well I'm here now, you should consider yourself lucky to have an escort like myself. You see, I'm the protector of this island. '' then he added, with a more husky voice '' I can show you all the nice places. ''

The redhead looked into the crowd, trying to find someone she knew or had talked to during the day. She wouldn't even mind if it was the one overdramatic kid from drama. That's when she saw brown spikes in the crowd, walking away from the shop and she raised her voice '' Sora! Over here!'' she waved her hands in the air, got some weird looks, but right now she did not care.

Suddenly the spikes turned a bit, and walked towards the table. Kairi must be having her lucky day, for it was indeed Sora. The teen smiled at Kairi, but when he saw the blond male, the smile quickly flattened. However slightly, it was still visible, just not as big as usual.

Seifer looked utterly pissed at Sora '' Get lost bible freak! '' He snarled as Sora stood beside the table.

Sora just smiled '' Kairi called me over, however it looks like you are uninvited. ''

The brown haired teen looked at Kairi and she nodded, then he continued to speak '' It would be nice if you left, Seifer. ''

'' Make me. ''

Sora rolled his eyes and looked at Kairi '' Has he made any sexual gestures or hints at all. '' Kairi nodded and Sora looked at Seifer '' Go before I call the cops and tell them how you tried sexually harass her. ''

Seifer stared at Sora, who kindly smiled back at him, then he quickly left and walked away somewhat casually. Sora sat down, ordered one small cup of coffee and smiled at Kairi. Kairi smiled back at him '' Thanks. '' He just nodded and smiled at her.

After a short silence, Soras coffee came and he slowly started to drink it with delight. Kairi had avoided one situation that was uncomfortable, but now she was sitting here with the bible freak from class. The situation was brighter, but to her it was the better of two evils. Who knew when he would start preaching. That is why Kairi started a conversation.

'' Seems like you two know each other. '' She simply put, continuing to sip her own drink.

Sora nodded '' Yeah, sadly I know him almost too well. ''

'' How so? ''

Sora finished his drink and smiled at the girl on the opposite side of the table '' I almost called the cops on him one time at school. ''

Kairi raised an eyebrow '' Why? ''

Suddenly Sora got serious and looked directly into Kairis eyes, he almost looked frightening. '' You know Namine? '' Kairi nodded '' Well, Seifer used to be her boyfriend, the relationship quickly ended, but Seifer desperately wanted Namine back. He tried to convince her kindly at first, but it did not take long until he raised his right hand and tried to slap her. Roxas stepped in and a small brawl occurred. No one called the cops when this happened, and I regret not doing it. He has also done many things in the past, shoplifiting, sexually harassing girls at school, you name it. ''

When Sora had finished telling his little tale his smile reappeared on his face '' He is in a shop a few stores from here now. Waiting for you, or me to leave. You could say that he is, persistent. I could probably follow you home. ''

Even though Kairi did not want Sora to know where she lived, it seemed as if she had no other alternative. It was better with a bible freak than a sexually frustrated teen. She sighed and nodded, it was about time that she got home. She finished her drink and both of them started to walk towards Kairis house. Kairi made sure to seem preoccupied, she did not want to talk at all. She just wanted to walk home, get in her room and watch television. It had been a long day at school and she was exhausted to say the least. It did not take long until they get to her street and she sighed. Something she had done more than she could count today.

When they reached Kairis house her grandmother sat on the porch knitting. She smiled warmly when she saw her granddaughter walk home with another person. It was no minus that he was a handsome young man. '' How nice to see that you have made friends Kairi. '' She said and smiled.

On the inside Kairi groaned, but on the outside she just smiled as her grandmother walked towards Sora. '' Whats your name young man? '' She asked kindly.

'' Sora Hashira mam. '' he smiled back at the elderly woman.

'' What a fitting name for a young man. '' Suddenly her grandmother noticed the cross hanging from Soras neck and her smile grew '' It's nice to see, that the youth have not forgotten about faith. ''

He lifted the cross and looked at it '' Faith is a gift, that all do not receive these days. ''

Kairi rolled her eyes '' Well, anyway. Thanks for walking me home Sora, see you tomorrow. '' Then she went inside the house. Leaving her grandmother in conversation with her so called '' friend ''. The girl went into her room and laid on her bed. She found her bottle of alcohol, only to be disappointed when she realized that it was empty. Groaning she found her music player and started to listen to music as time ticked by. There was nothing left to do. She had no homework, she had finished it at school. She had no reason to walk outside, the sun was too warm for her cold harsh self. She was good at hiding who she was, that is the only reason why people could be around her.

'' Maybe I should buy more liquor '' she murmured, but she knew that was impossible now. Roxas worked at the nearest grocery store, and she did not need rumors about her just yet.

Sighing she looked at the roof. Counting the spots, the dark areas and the small cracks. She almost stopped when she came to fourty-three, but she kept on counting, knowing that she had nothing better to do. Killing time as she waited for tomorrow to sneak up on her, taker her by surprise and lie to her about a better day. She knew that no matter what, she would always be alone, atleast in her heart. Her heart was cursed, the damned tragedy had damaged her beyond repair. She would never forgive them, she would never forget.

After what seemed like hours, someone knocked on her door. Kairi did not know while her music was turned up too loud. She almost jumped when she saw her grandfather walk into her room and into her line of sight.

He spoke, but she heard nothing. She took of her headphones '' What did you say? ''

'' The nurse is here. '' he repeated, watching as Kairi sank into her bed.

'' Oh god, not the nurse. '' She whined.

The nurse entered the room, it was a chubby woman with short brown hair in a bun. She had a typical nurse outfit and held a small medical suite case in her right hand. ''Hello, my name is. '' Kairi ignored what she said, she was too focused on not letting an emotions show on her face, she was terrified. The nurse's voice was pleasant, but filled with pity.

Kairis face just fell to a hollow state, she hated this, she hated people knowing what happened. She hated when people pitied her, it made her feel weak, useless. The teenager sat on her bed while her grandfather stood at the threshold of her room. The nurse found a small chair and opened her medical suitcase. Out of all the tools in her case, there was only on Kairi had her eyes fixed on. A syringe. She started to tremble, and her grandfather sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her, stroking her arm as a sign of comfort.

The nurse started normal blood checkups, blood pressure and so on. The normal routine went on for quite a while and Kairi relaxed as the syringe was not touched at all. Suddenly the nurse gave her a small cup. Kairi took the small plastic cup and looked at the nurse, who smiled at her. Then she went into the bathroom. She placed the cup down and positioned herself, trying desperately to let out some urine.

It did not take long until she had filled the cup, and she ventured back into her room with the cup in her hand. When she came to her room the nurse took the cup and smiled. Kairi sat down and the nurse looked at her with a kind expression. '' What we need you to do now Kairi is lay down on the bed. '' Kairi did as she was told, and he grandfather watched with a sad expression.

_'' __This can't be good. '' _ Kairi thought as she looked at the nurse. She was trying to get something out of her small suitcase. At first Kairi was not alarmed, but suddenly she saw the nurse take out the syringe. Her body shot up and she ran to a corner of the room '' No no no no no '' She said, her voice trembling, almost sobbing. '' No syringes. '' she hiked and tears rolled down her face.

Her grandfather walked over to her and cupped her cheeks '' they just want to make sure everything is fine Kai. '' this did not however calm Kairi down one bit, it did quite the opposite.

'' I am fine! '' She yelled as her tears started to stream down her cheeks '' I am fine! '' Her arms felt as if they were stabbed over and over by syringes, she heard laughter in her head. Her memories came back to her slowly but surely as she looked at the instrument created by the devil himself. '' I'm fine! '' She yelled once more before her grandfather tried to comfort her even more. As she slowly succumbed to her memories. She heard the noises of syringes piercing and exiting her skin. It sounded as if someone was being stabbed knives, over and over again. Never stopping, over and over, until there was no flesh left on her arms, only bones.

The nurse looked at the scene and a tear rolled down her cheek. What universe did they live in which caused the youngling to bear such unspeakable pain, to be a guanine pig for such cruel acts was an unspeakable pain. The woman went over to the elderly man and whispered something in his ear. Then he left the room.

The woman sat on her knees and gave Kairi a hug. In the beginning it distressed Kairi even more, but slowly she began to enjoy the sign of compassion. '' Don't worry child, if you don't want to, then I wont take that test. Ok? '' She whispered as more tears fell from her watery eyes. It hurt her to see such a young woman in such pain. Kairi nodded into the hug and took deep breaths, trying to relax. It was hard to relax, as she felt syringes stab her in her arms over and over. She still heard the sounds, flesh ripping, bones being stabbed and the laughter of the doctors.

After a short timespan Kairi was back on the bed, sitting and letting the last tears fall down upon her lap. Her tears fell down onto her like blood dripping from a wound, quickly, but at the same time slower than you would suspect. The nurse smiled at her '' How long have you been drinking alcohol? ''

Kairi was surprised by the question, but felt no reason to lie. '' Ever since the nightmares. ''

'' What are these nightmares about dear? '' The nurse took notes as Kairi continued to speak.

'' Syringes, hundred syringes stabbing me. People laughing at my pain. Darkness all around me and a voice. '' she said as she tried to suppress the worst of her images in her head.

'' What does the voice say? '' The nurse asked unsure. Even if she had practiced her profession for years, she was not sure about what to make out of this situation, there had never been a tragedy like the one Kairi was involved in. Hopefully there would never be another.

Kairi opened her mouth, only to shut it again, trying to remember what the voice said to her, what words it uttered. '' Take your time, don't be afraid. '' The door is still shut, there is still time. That is what the voice says, over and over again.''

The nurse smiled, it was better than what she had expected. '' DO you know what the voice means. ''

Kairi simply shook her head and let her hair fall in front of her face, this is how she hid from the woman whom sat in front of her. It was embarrassing to talk about her nightmares, it was embarrassing to need someone else to be able to stand on her own legs. She hated being this pathetic. She hated her life.

AN: I hope you liked the chapter :D It was nice to get another review on the story, and I thank the person who reviewed, sadly it was only a guest profile so I can't send a message directly to him/her. If you noticed any spelling errors and so on please tell me, I want to improve as a writer :)


	5. Paths And Nightmares

Chapter five: Paths and Nightmares

In our lives we are always met with choices. This is common knowledge. The decisions we choose is based on our knowledge, or a leap of faith. These different paths we meet in our lives will define us, shape us into who we are. Each path grants us a different memory and that memory will be good or bad. The memory will also be altered and conjured over time. If it would only shape us, choosing a path would be easy. On the other hand, it is not close to the word easy.

The path we choose in life will not only shape ourselves, it will shape those around us and those who we meet in the future. These paths are complicated, these paths are hard to walk. The paths we take will affect them, directly or indirectly without us knowing it. From this they will also chose a path, if it is how to react or what to do in the future. These paths are what we call decisions. Even if we want to, we have to follow these paths, this web of paths is what makes our lives. These paths we walk everyday complete our lives, they are our lives.

Some people say that life is what you make it, that a life can be seen with different perspectives. Everything evil could spawn something good, and everything good could spawn something evil. This thought made Kairi laugh slightly as she laid on her bed. It was 1 am and she still hadn't gotten any sleep, she was too busy humoring herself with the thoughts a romantic pessimist would think. These lies about a better tomorrow, telling oneself that tomorrow will be good while knowing that it will not be, it made her laugh. It was more pathetic than she was. People that thought that her experiences would make her stronger, she laughed at them. She felt broken, something was injected into her veins and now she felt hollow. There was no good point of view, when it came to what she had suffered, there was no light at the end of the tunnel. In her head, she had to suffer through her existence, while she did not want to choose a path that would be the destination. She would not choose the path that would cause her grandparents pain beyond belief.

Kairi sighed and got out of bed, she then walked towards the small bathroom. When she entered she took a look around. She was sleepy and disoriented so it was hard for her to find the sink, even if it was the whitest thing she had ever seen in her short life time. She looked into the mirror in front of her and snickered. She looked horrible. Her hair looked dead and pale, even if it was auburn. Her face looked exhausted and her eyes looked puffy and red. That is what you get when you sit alone in your bed, thinking bad thoughts about life.

She turned on the sink, bent down and splashed some water in her face, first once, then twice, then trice before she looked into the mirror again. She almost screamed when she looked into the mirror once more, there was someone standing behind her. A pale woman with black hair stood behind her and whispered something she could not understand. Turned around, to make sure that this was not an illusion, and when she saw into her dead eyes she let out a chilling scream and fell down on the floor. This was real.

The woman started to mutter her words louder '' T.k. y..r ti.e, do... be afraid. T.e d..r is st..l sh.t, th… is s.i.l t..e ''

Kairi looked into the womans eyes. Kairi felt her eyes water as she looked into the dead white eyes. Her voice was shaking, but she was still able to utter one word '' W…. w… wh.. what? ''

'' T.k. y..r ti.e, do... be afraid. T.e d..r is st..l sh.t, th… is s.i.l t..e '' The voice said once more, louder, but still not loud enough to make Kairi hear what she told her.

'' W.. what? '' She asked once more.

Suddenly the body of the woman started to make snapping noises, her knees slowly started to go back, slowly lowering her face until it came to the height of Kairis frightened face. The woman used her hands to stabilize herself and then she screamed '' Take your time, don't be afraid! The door is still shut, there is still time! '' And then, Kairi felt arms warp around her and muffle her mouth, she tried to scream, she tried to scream but to no avail. She was tossed into a chair and strapped down. Kairi tried to call for help but they shut her up with a bondage ball that they forced into her mouth.

Then snickers appeared evil, giggles of malice. Kairi suddenly came into a state of panic, and she tried to break freak. She kicked, he tried to punch and slap them, but to no avail. She was strapped down to the table, like a frog waiting to be dissected. The snickers soon became laughs, watching her feeble attempts to break free were amusing to them. Kairi was their entertainment, the pinch black figures with doctor masks on their faces, grinning so wide that you could see the edges of their smiles on the sides of the mask. Their eyes were yellow and Kairi wanted to look away, but it was not possible to break the gaze she had set upon their eyes.

That's when her heart stopped, because as they raised their hands Kairi saw the instruments of sin. She saw syringes. Kairi struggled even more. Tried to break free, she tried scream and shout. That's when the pale woman returned and stood in front of the doctors muttering once more the two sentences which she had screamed to Kairi just moments before. '' Take your time, don't be afraid. The door is still shut, there is still time. ''

Then the pinch black doctors with yellow eyes jumped on her. They pressed their syringes into her skin roughly and started to pump black goo inside her skin. It burned her veins, it burned her skin, it was as if someone had injected acid into her. Tears fell down her cheeks and she wailed so loudly that the doctors backed away, only to jump at her again and pierce her even harder than before.

'' NO! '' Kairi screamed into the bondage ball, feeling her flesh turning was burning '' NO! NO! NO! '' she screamed again. Then suddenly the organic tissue on her arms started to dematerialize and splash onto the floor. Kairi tried to scream, to make people hear her. There was no one to save her, the savages stabbed her over and over and she felt herself becoming even hollower than before.

That is when she suddenly felt warmth spread around her torso. As her arms were just white bones and her body burned on the inside, she felt warmth. It was as if the light touched her skin in a darkened cave. She did not know what was going on, bust suddenly she was able to break her arms free and wrap them around the warmth. That is when she started sobbing. She closed her eyes and gasped loudly before opening her eyes again. She was in her room, holding her grandmother in a tight hug. It was a dream. Just a dream.

Kairi gently pushed her grandmother away '' I'm fine'' She whispered hoarsely.

'' No you're not dear. I can stay here, help you if you need anything '' When her grandmother spoke, Kairi heard all the pity, compassion and pain in her voice. It tore her heart into pieces, which was something she did not think was possible anymore.

'' I'm fine, it was just a dream. '' Kairi spoke lightly and smiled a small smile towards her grandmother.

Her grandmother looked unsure, but Kairi was stubborn and she walked out of the room. Leaving Kairi in solitude. Kairi got her headphones and found her notebook, the notebook she used for her nightmares. She had heard that if you drew your nightmares while you still remembered them, it would make the confrontation easier to face the next time you meet them. The auburn teen remembered everything to a grim detail. It did not take long before she had drawn all the doctors staring right at her. It was as if they looked through the picture and saw her sitting in her bed. There was something missing, something she had forgotten to add. She scratched her head as songs were blasting into her ears. She could not remember the detail she had forgotten. The one detail that would make them complete.

She started to look through her notebook '' Maybe I have had something familiar before. '' She whispered into the dark room. The drawing were different each time she had them, she saw it as she went over her old works of art. The pencil drawings she had were different, but at the same time they felt alike to her. One of the pencil drawings were of her being hunted by wolves, the wolves looked crazed and with hollow eyes. Their ears were cut off, but they had something different where the ears should be. Kairi could not find a word fitting of what she saw. It was darkened tendrils that were almost curling in on themselves. The wolves mouths were open, but instead of teeth there were long syringes. Even the mouths of the wolves looked unnatural, it looked like how a snake could snap its jaw out of joint. The perspective in which it was drawn made them run right towards the viewer, and this choice of perspective made Kairi uncomfortable. They looked at her, their jaws were pointed towards her and the syringes were almost pointed at her.

Kairi kept on browsing her notebook and found another drawing which she began to study. This particular drawing was in a darkened and rundown hallway. Almost everything was shadowed and dark. You could see how the walls were run down and small pieces of wood were ripped off and laid on the floor. There was a lot of detail to the surrounding, and as Kairi was about to skip to the next picture, she saw something. It was more something than someone. In the darkened hallway there stood a figure in dark leather cloths, covering all of its body. The zipper was run all the way up to the next, and a hood was covering the head, causing the face to be shadowed. There was also one small detail, there were seemingly pointless beaded pull strings on each side of the zipper. Kairi kept on studying and on further study, she kept on seeing more of the same figure, further down the hallway. They were hard to spot, but in the end Kairi found thirteen of these figures. Some were tall, others were short, some were muscular and built, others were thin and slim. One thing that they all had in common was the tendrils, they were just alike the once on the wolves.

The teen kept on browsing through pictures. It was everything, demons to fallen angels, hunting her with syringes. In the end there was almost one thing that kept repeating themselves, the tendrils. Kairi browsed and browsed when suddenly she found a picture of the same doctors that she encountered what seemed like an eternity ago. They were just alike and the picture was alike. The only difference was Kairis mastery of the pencil. The doctors on the older picture also had the tendrils. It was obvious what she had forgotten. She went back to the first picture and drew the tendrils. Long, black and slick. Two of them on each side of the doctors heads. Now they looked completed, now they looked natural and twisted. The tendrils seemed to add more to their character, they seemed to make them deeper, more evil and more ghastly.

The notebook was shut, and then she threw the notebook to her side. She sighed and whispered the lines of the song she listened to.

**_Pick me up  
Been bleeding too long  
Right here, right now  
I'll stop it somehow_**

Kairi felt her voice sink, it was almost weird how some songs affected her state of mind. She went from being terrified to upset. Even in the darkness she felt herself trapped in, she still had a small glimmer of hope. It was ironic, how it got broken and shit upon over and over, only to return. Life was like Pandora's box, no matter how much evil there was, hope never died, no matter how small.

**_I will make it go away  
Can't be here no more  
Seems this is the only way  
I will soon be gone  
These feelings will be gone  
These feelings will be gone_**

A tear rolled down her cheek as she lowered her voice, she knew that the next part would break her, it would cause her tears to escape from their ghastly prison. She mentally prepared herself, looking at her roof as her tears began to develop. Her voice was shaking, but she was able to sing with the song, however lightly she sang, she still sang.

**_Now I see the times they change  
Leaving doesn't seem so strange  
I am hoping I can find  
Where to leave my hurt behind  
All the shit I seem to take  
All alone I seem to break  
I have lived the best I can  
Does this make me not a man_**

She sobbed and felt sorrow trap her heart. Her heart was a heart that was filled with hope, a heart that was filled with life, until the syringes penetrated her body. The syringe was a symbol for her, a symbol of hurt, of pain and of sadness. She could not take it for much longer, she was hanging on her edge. She seemed fine, everyone thought she was fine, at least to an extent. She felt abused, she felt used, she had been used. The betrayal was worse than what most people would realize. In the end there was her, and her alone. Kairi had no faith, she had no hope and no promise of a better tomorrow. Her path in life was a dark and grim one. Kairi would die alone, Kairi would be forgotten, Kairi would lay lifeless with a knife in her hand one day and she knew she would, but her heart told her differ.

Her heart kept beating and she hated the pulse. It was almost as if her heart was there to bully her, to keep on telling her that she was alive and would suffer the pain of the living. Her life was broken, shit upon and buried. Still her heart told her that it would be okay one day, that one day she would be happy and that one day she would not be hurt. It told her every day, that she would find a place where she could leave her hurt behind. NO matter how much shit she had to take, she would have a better future. That is what her heart kept on telling her, over and over again. The darkness would pass and the sun would shine into her life. The heart of hers was cruel, it taunted her, it teased her and said that everything would be fine. How could it tell her those things after everything that had happened to her, after all the pain she had felt over and over again. If religion was right about one thing, then it had to be hell, cause Kairi felt as if she was living in hell, that she was trapped in hell inside her body. Hell was real to her, and the earth was godless.

Suddenly another song started to play, and she smiled. This song could actually comfort her, even when she felt like this. This one song would always make her smile, no matter how many tears, she would always smile. She sung with the song and laughed in between the lines, a laugh of pure joy, oh how ironic is this world for making her feel just like this song

**_Every time we lie away  
after every hit we take  
every felling that I get  
but I haven't missed you yet_**

**_Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
all the fellings that I get  
but I still don't miss you yet_**

**_Only when I stop to think about it_**

Here it came, that one part of the song that explained her emotions about the sinners. The demons that had caused her this pain, this scar that kept on bleeding, this world was indeed ironic and cruel for making her feel this way. The world was made by sinners, exploiting innocence everywhere they went. Now, she spoke the lines with a small growl, she was angry, she was pissed and she was not drunk. Sadly for her, she was not even close to the word drunk.

**_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?_**

After all the shit she had gone trought, why did she love them? The people she trusted the most, the people that was supposed to love her. Why did they do this to her? Kairi used to be sweet, innocent and happy. She used to be normal, now she was the darkness walking around in the street. Kairi felt like a suicidal freak that was waiting for the right moment to die. Kairi felt all this, but at the same time she felt hollow. She felt sadness, pain, anger, depressed and hollow at the same time.

'' Emotions are fucked up things '' She whispered as the song kept on playing. She started to lose herself in the music, she started to shake her body lightly. There she was, almost dancing on her bed while tears flowed down her cheeks. People would think she was crazy, maybe she was? Why would she care what people thought if they saw her now? At this one moment she was happy, she lightly laughed and shook her body to the next song that started to play. She was at this one, weird fucked up moment, happy. A nightmare, a drawing and some depressing songs later, she was happy.

Her path in life was long, it was dark and it was grim. At the same moment, just like Pandora's box, there were moments of hope, happiness and joy. These moments were small and few in her life and it seemed as if her path was taking her into darker territory, but at this one moment she was happy. At this moment, that was all that mattered.

Her path was ruined, but before she died she would enjoy herself, even if just to a minor extent. Maybe that is why she hasn't killed herself yet, because god knows, she have tried.'

An: In the beginning this chapter was supposed to be only her drawing in her notebook, and then falling asleep after some songs. This was the idea but I wanted to explore on details and have fewer dialogs so I decided to make it a longer description of her character, her emotions and her life. The last 1 500 words were supposed to be a school day, but I enjoyed writing this so much that it became twice as long as I intended. Instead of 1 500 words on her night, it became above 3 000 and I am really pleased with this chapter in all honesty. I hope you are also :D

Two more things, I want to thank those who reviewed, followed and favored this story. It really brightened my day to see that people enjoy reading what I am writing here :) Second of all, the two songs I used was: Korn: Alone I break and: Three days grace: I hate everything about you. I do not own the lyrics or anything in the songs, I have no right over any of them.

Please R&R, I want to improve as a writer and if you have anything you want to tell me about grammar and structure, please R&R or Pm me :) Until next time!


	6. The Plan

An: This was a pain to write, I wont even sugarcoat it. THIS. WAS. A. PAIN. I had to redraft this one over and over again to make it feel good. The reason it was so hard was because I reread my favorite fanfiction on this site and compared to that I felt that my way of writing was lacking.

Chapter 6: The Plan

Try to imagine a picture where everyone is happy. Focus my friend, you have to concentrate. Everyone on the picture is smiling. These are people whom you know and have seen many times before, together and smiling, everyone is happy. If you can do this then you are either naive or stupid. In that picture you just created in your mind everyone is not happy. They look happy indeed, but are they really and truly happy? No. They are not. In that picture there is at least one person who undermine their pain so they will not be a bother for those around him or her. They do not want to bring anyone down or they want the others to be happy. They do not want to be a burden in the end.

We do not want to show our broken selves in front of friends or foes. We try to hide our darkest sides and push our good sides at people. By using this tactic we hope that they will remember us for the façade we show, not how we feel. That is why you cannot imagine a picture where everyone is truly happy. We all have our burdens to carry while we walk these paths. Some people carry more than others and some carry less, but Kairis burdens were greater than most.

She walked to school, because she did not want to wake up her grandparents. She felt that is she did, she was a bother. She had pretty much the same dark cloths as yesterday, but she skipped her backpack. After no sleep she really did not feel like dragging any books to school. She was used to being sleep deprived and she was used to feeling this way. She had one way to sleep, but sadly she had no alcohol in her new home. She did not want to buy more where Roxas worked, Kairi did not want a rumor going around, she just wanted to stay hidden.

The auburn teen looked at the dark sky, it seemed as if it would rain later today. In later, meaning in two minutes. As Kairi now started to run through the rain and towards school she got more and more pissed ever so slowly. A horrible night and a horrible morning, knowing her luck it would be a horrible day too.

When she entered the school complex she was panting. Soaked, angry and tired she walked towards her locker, pushing people out of her way. She felt the stares burning her back, if only the stares would dry her cloths, she would be happy about the looks she got. Ussualy she would keep a more low profile, but right now she was pissed. She was pissed and had no intention of hiding it today. When she came to her locker she saw a familiar red headed teen.

'' Enjoying the weather? '' Axel smirked.

She did not respond and tried to open her locker. She tried her combination over and over but it did not seem to work '' Fucking piece of shit! '' She yelled.

Axel sighed, the he lightly pushed her aside just before be gave the locker a hard punch and it opened. '' Ow ow ow ow ow! '' he exclaimed as he shook his hand. Kairi looked at the person who was now blowing in hand as he grimaced in pain, why would he do that for someone he did not even know? It puzzled Kairi

'' Thank you. '' She let out in what sounded like a murmur.

'' Heh '' He said with cleansed teeth '' They get, stuck at times, just gotta give em a good ol' punch. Shit it hurt though. '' Kairi let out a giggle and he looked at her with a small grin '' Didn't know you could laugh. ''

Kairi shrugged '' neither did I. ''

Axel let out a small laugh then he started to walk away '' Cya at lunch. ''

Sighing Kairi grabbed her books for English and tried to make sense out of what happened. Someone harming themselves, for her? It was a new experience for her to put it mildly. She entered the classroom and was the first one to enter. Zexion was sitting behind his desk and read some kind of book once more. Kairi saw down on the seat she had yesterday, rather fell into it. She was exhausted. Zexion gave her a quick glance, but did not seem to care at all. The dream teacher in Kairis eyes, the one who saw pain and anger but did nothing to stop it. Her dream and the nightmare of a parent.

It did not take long until the classroom was filled with students, and just like yesterday, Sora was the last one to enter. He quickly sat down besides Kairi and gave her a warm grin. She hated the warmth he radiated towards her, she hated the happiness in his face. The happiness he had made her stomach turn, it was unnatural, it was something she could never have. That is why she hated him, even if she met him yesterday. Hate may seem like a strong word, however it was not in this case. This was the type for hatred you felt towards those how promised a better tomorrow, only to laugh as you squirmed when you realize they lied. IT was the hatred that one felt when people told you it would get better, but it never did. His smile radiated hope and she had none. That is why she hated him, he had something she never would have.

'' Morning! '' He greeted warmly, only to be meet by Kairis cold shoulder. She did not respond, she did not recognize his presence. That is when Kairi got a great idea, an idea that was a tiny, tiny bit cruel, but she wanted payback. Tomorrow she would wipe that grin of is face as if she used a butchers knife to cut it off. It would be quick, brutal and way to easy.

At this moment there were two paths Kairi could have chosen from. She chose the one or revenge for the sin of happiness, but she could have chosen something different. Her mind was set, and as she started walking down her new path, she planned. This choice may seem grim and saddening for others, but at this moment it gave Kairi a sense of purpose. She knew what she wanted to do, she knew how to do it and she had the availability to do it.

After the decision was made, Kairi looked at Zexion. The lesson was a continuation of yesterday, so she had time to kill. She found her random notebook and silently started drawing. The picture which she drew was inspired from a grim thought. She thought of a mother, weeping for her lost child. To make it more dramatic, she made the mother hold her dead child while weeping blood. The mothers eyes were crazed and her face was mad. In contrast, the childs face had entered the peace of death. Kairi chose a traditional Japanese house as the background, and left drops of blood over the floor. Too bad her mother never wept when she heard what happened to her daughter.

Suddenly Sora whistled '' You're talented but that is grim Kai. ''

'' Don't call me that. '' She said as calmly as she could, she really hated him, even the sound of his voice ticked her off.

'' But it's a cute nickname. '' He seemed to give a small pout, a normal person would say that it was cute, but Kairi was not close to normal.

'' Shut up jerk. '' She almost snarled at him. She was tired and pissed, this was a not a moment for Sora to be around her. He raised his hands up in defeat and sighed. He was used to people taking their anger out on him, but she took it to another level. She sounded furious, almost animalistic furious. He listened to Zexions voice and let Kairi be. Kairi kept on sketching, but making small notes once or twice. He seemed to ignore her at first, but after a while he asked her to show her notebook to the class and she showed her notes. Every point and fact that Zexion had said was made into longer sentences in Kairis notebook. He could not read all of them from the front of the class, and he did not seem to have any intention to walk back. Her scheme was a genius one and it worked efficiently.

She sketched and sketched, drawing everything from a cute little rabbits to walking corpses. She wanted to improve her style, to do this she tried other perspectives that she rarely used in any of her drawing. This was her drug, and she had to get really high to survive this day. She just had a feeling that today would be a long day.

English quickly passed and Kairis day continued. Art was decent, she had Namine sitting next to her and their conversations were short and straight to the point. Namine was the first person in school that she knew, and for the time being she enjoyed being with her more than anything else. Nothing really happened until she met up with Namines friends at lunch. She looked at Axels hands which were now covered with black gloves. From the way he was eating, it seemed like his right hand was injured, however only to a minor extent. They were chatting with one another, Roxas was telling something that happened during work to Xion, Axel listened and Namine quietly ate her food. Kairi could not get her eyes of Axels right hand.

Kairi felt genuinely bad '' You didn't have to do that. ''

Axel shrugged '' You're a friend of my friend, that makes you my friend. '' He gave her a small grin.

This is the second time someone had referred to her as their friend. It was surprising how people like them thought friendships were forged so quickly. It was almost funny for Kairi in her overtired state, but she kept her mouth shut. Axel was nice, and he seemed to have accepted her, to an extent. Roxas still looked at her as if she was a demon and Xion did not mind her, but her she hardly talked to her. These people were more than she wanted, but she did not care. As long as she had some acquaintances she was happy.

She smiled at Axel '' Thank you. '' She faked the smile, but the words she spoke were sincere.

'' You owe me one, got it memorized? '' He teased her and stuck her tongue out.

Normally Kairi would just ignore it, but these people were her acquaintances, so she faked a small laugh.

'' So Kairi. '' Xion began '' What do you think of the island so far? ''

'' Not used to it, it's different from radiant garden. ''

Roxas rolled his eyes and took a bite from an appel. Shewing slowly while staring at Kairi '' Why did you buy that bottle of booz? ''

The question did not surprise Kairi, she just smiled '' I need one shot before I go to bed. I have nightmares if I don't take a glass. It just helps me sleep. The reason I was so pissed off when I bought it was because I had one of my nightmares when I slept in the car, without my shot. '' In Kairis head. The best lies were the once containing more truth than lies. Mixing them together would make it easier for her in the future, if they became closer.

Xion smiled at her '' My mom has to do that. ''

Roxas still looked unsure at her, but nodded. The perfect lie worked on her victim. The small group began chatting again. Kairi was silent as usuall and started to skim trought the people in the cantina. The redhead recognized many people from her grade. She stopped when she saw Seifer flirting with a girl in the corner of the cantina. She continued to look at people until her eyes stopped on one guy.

The person that caught her eyes was a guy with silver colored hair. He was quite tall and had tones of muscles on his body. His skin was pale and his silver hair that reached his upper back. From what Kairi could she he had green eyes, but she was unsure. He was wearing a sleeveless, black, double zippered shirt under a white vest. He had blue baggy pants that seemed to be a couple of sizes too big for him. The pair of pants were held up by a belt.

Kairi poked Namines shoulder and pointed towards him '' Who is that? ''

Namine sighed '' That's Riku. '' She said plainly

Then Axel jumped into the conversation '' Former best friend of Namine. ''

Kairi was lifted an eyebrow '' Former? ''

Namine nodded '' Yeah, when my second best friend became more'' She seemed to have problems finding a word. ''antisocial, our group kinda dissolved. ''

Kairi nodded '' That's too bad. '' She was not good at faking sympathy or empathy, but while no one said anything, she would consider it a success.

'' Not really, we never had much in common, other than the other friend of ours. He was the glue that stuck us together. ''

Xion looked at Roxas, whom seemed bothered. He looked at Riku with an inspecting eye, as if he expected him to blow up at any second. Maybe that is what he wanted? To see this man's guts splattered all over the place? Thoughts like these revolved around Kairis head, this is why she cannot ever be normal.

Kairi felt that the rest of the day was uneventful, it was almost weird how the second day passed so quickly, while the first took eternities. School was uneventful and boring, she had finished her homework at school so she had nothing to do at home. That is why she went to bed early, to catch up to some sleep. She was lucky for once, sleep came to her quickly and without any nightmares. It was as if the mist-weaver had come and lulled her to the eternal sleep. She would finally feel rested.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Namine was walking out of her art club. It had been quite an interesting session, which is rarely was. Aerith had talked for a while before she placed one of her original pictures in the middle of class. The assignment was easy, the task they were presented was to copy the original painting in front of them. The artist eagerly started to draw copies of the picture. What made the session interesting was that every copy was different and not only because of talent. Each artist had focused on different parts of the painting in front of them. Some focused more on the background while others tried to make other parts more detailed. None of them could copy the picture exactly how it was, their individual focuses on the painting had clouded their eyes, making them draw something different. Even if it was similar, it was still different.

When she got outside she did her usual routine. She walked away from the school and went to a place where he could not see her. She stared at the top of the schools roof and she saw him there, with his book in his hand, studying it as if it was the most beautiful thing on earth. They used to be so close, but suddenly they stopped talking. Rather, he stopped talking. He suddenly became distant, it was a shock for her, but before she could do anything it was too late. He had already found a way to medicate himself, or whatever he did. If she asked him what bothered him he would not say anything. The boy she used to spend every weekend with was not there anymore.

Namine found herself sitting in the usual spot and stare at him. Hoping he would come down and talk to her today, not just a hello, she wanted to talk.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sora sat on top of the school building. His feet were dangling off the edge as he saw people from clubs and committees walk outside. He had a bottle of water to his left and in his hand he held his bible. He was slowly studding every book in the scripture. If there was one thing he wished he could master, it was to master words. Almost everyone in the world could speak, almost everyone could, but not everyone knew how to use words properly. Sora wanted to be like Jesus with the way he spoke. He was able to comfort people, but Sora could not comfort anyone. Sora did not even know how to comfort himself.

He smiled as one of the quotes he had marked appears and he whispered to himself '' Create in me a pure heart, o god, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. ''

Sora smiled and felt his heart get a bit warmer as he read it out loud. This was one of his favorite quotes. Every heart had been shattered, maybe even more than once. Sora was sick of getting his heart hurt, he was sick of his heart bleeding. He got on his feet and smiled. Slowly but surely he was healing. Hopefully his heart would be pure, and his spirit would be remade and renewed. Only time would tell. He kissed his cross before he got to his feet and looked at the sky.

After five minutes, the brunette turned around and started to walk home. It was getting late and his dad wanted him home by dinnertime. When he had exited the school building and strolled down the sidewalk, noticing Namine sitting in her usual spot, eying him. He wanted to talk to her, but he could not. Sora did not know what to say. He kissed his neckless and continued to walk. He was a simple soul with simple needs, but since he was simple, his words lost their meaning.

AN: This is more or less when the story starts for me. I have introduced Kairi, the people around and Sora. The main characters have been presented, but one or two might pop up as I keep on making the story. I also kept my second best draft of Soras part under the AN, if you want to read that :)

Please R&R :D Until next time guys!

Sora muttered words out loud to himself, he muttered one of his favorite quotes '' And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, ' Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but the sinners. '' ''

It was weird how those words affected him, he was never really a sinner, but nor was he righteous. He viewed himself as more of a nobody than anything else. It did not really matter, he found his physician when he needed one. He sighed and closed his book and laid on his back, staring at the sky. As he scanned the cloud littered sky, he began to think about life. Sora doubted that he would ever become what he wanted to be. It was unusual for him to think about these things, but today had been unusual. Sora wanted to master words, because then he could heal himself, and maybe even others. He sighed and stared at the heavens before smiling. People always told him that his god was not real, that his god was false. All the proof he needed was to stare at the heavens, and let the warm feeling wrap itself around his heart. Even if it was not real, it was his medicine to keep the reality at bay.

He smiled '' Even if my feelings are false, they are real to me. '' Sora got on his feet '' Even these promises are lies, they mean something to me. ''


End file.
